juliesnotdyingtoday.com

So, I have been grounded by my doctor for a few days. I feels like a conspiracy or maybe a message from God to slow down.  Either way,  it just like when I was a teenager. Being grounded plays with my mind and emotions.  I hate it. But the blessing of not getting to hit the gym at 6:30 and then run around or do yard work is that I am making time to do the other things on my long summer "to do" lists.  I am getting things ready for the next school year, catching up with family, and now fulfilling a goal to share the journey of an amazing woman.  

This post may seem long, but take a few minutes and read some of Julie Shill's words.  I promise you will be uplifted.  She has also agreed to make her Facebook posts public.  Friend her. You need her in your life. She started sharing her food journey on instagram (search Julie Shill) and her blog (juliesnotdyingtoday.com) Follow her!  I don't even like cooking and I enjoy it!

I wanted to share her story for several months.  She gave me her permission and agreed to make her posts public, but I found it hard to write because I believe that words matter. I wanted to capture her perfectly and I worried that I wouldn't find  the right words.  Then I realized that I didn't need to find the words at all....she already had.  So I have chosen to share just a few of the her Facebook posts so you get to know her better. 

In December, Julie posted this:

Oh....on January 1, she also posted this:

Just seeing these two posts together both broke my heart and made me smile. I felt they gave a true picture of Julies' spirit and character. I was both right and wrong. Julie is very spiritual and she does have a sense of humor that I appreciate, but through her posts over the past few months she has shared how tender, spiritual, fierce, creative, grateful, generous, giving, and strong she really is.

True disclosure: I first met Julie at church and though I always admired her, we never became close friends. That is on me, for sure. So, as Julie has opened up about her journey, I am getting to know her better along with the rest of the social media world. It has been a gift.

You've got to love someone who posts:

And this....

And this. For some reason it is one of my favorites.

I think when the time is right, we should throw a "Bye, Felicia" party.  Who's with me?

During this journey, Julie created a Joy Journal.  Read her post from April 24 to learn how she learned to "have joy through the trial."  I could never hope to share the experience with as much eloquence.  Many of Julie's posts....even in the midst of her trials....are now through the lens of joy.  

#noexcuses #findingthejoy #makingeverymomentcount #lookatthatsmile #lovethatspirit

Julie began focusing on a plant-based diet and posting pictures and recipes of her successes.

And then, this...

One of words I used earlier in describing Julie was generous. Read through her posts and you will be introduced to the remarkable doctor who found Julie's cancer and literally save her life.  You will also meet her medical care team, her hair dresser (who made a house call,) her friends, her widening support team, the family who keeps her foundation strong, and even this little boy with a special need of his own.

And finally, from earlier this week...

Julie Shill, you ARE a star and I am honored to know you.

Focus on the Success...No Matter Large or Small

How was your weekend?  Mine was full of cleaning bathrooms (the worst job EVER), binge watching Holiday Baking Championship, working out, causing a minor grease fire (don't ask), and spending much-need time with my husband.  I also took time to reflect on the past week or so.  Sometimes I think I reflect enough to justify many counseling sessions.  

A few days ago my daughter sent me a photo grid with a picture taken one year ago on the left and another taken on Halloween.  What a difference a year makes. I know that I have made progress.  I have more energy.  I am stronger.  I am more committed to my health.  But....when I look in the mirror, all I see is how far I still need to go. I have to admit, that even tonight as I consider posting these images, I feel anxious.  My eyes keep drifting to the image on the left and I am fighting shame and embarrassment.  I have to force myself to acknowledge the woman on the right who is making progress. 

Why do we do this to ourselves?  Why do we continue to focus on the negative and ignore our successes?  We all do it. 

Just this week I reminded a student with dyslexia how much he had grown in just two short years.  He arrived in third grade unable to identify the sounds of individual letters and now he reads.  He is struggling to recognize his growth because he is so focused on his inability to read fluently.  

It seems for every 1,000 moments of love, protection, and understanding we give our children, as parents, we focus on harsh words spoken during one hour of fatigue.  Perhaps it is easier to focus on the positive living in this generation of digital images of joys and smiles. But, then again, when I hear the anxiety in my children's voices as they wonder if they are doing enough for their own babies, I think maybe things aren't so different from my generation after all.

I can tell you that as a teacher I am on a never-ending quest to help my students become successful.   I am rarely satisfied with my performance - not because I haven't done a good job, but simply because I am trying to do better.  It is hard to enjoy my achievements.  Unfortunately this is true for most of the teachers I know.  Whether we work at Sigler Elementary, Plano East, or Eastfield College, our mistakes loom so much larger than our successes.

So, I needed to see that picture that Kati sent me.  It helped me, even for a few short moments, to focus on the positive.  I hope each one of you is able to look in the mirror today and celebrate your achievements. 

The Strength of a Web

 A few weeks ago, my husband pulled me outside to show me a wonder of nature. There was a spider web reaching from the tree to our shed in the backyard. That web stretched about 10 feet and  absolutely glistened in the sun.  It was magnificent.  We stood there in awe.  Gary made sure to set up cones so we wouldn't disturb it when we mowed and edged.  You have to love a man who cares so much for one of God's tiniest creatures, right?  

Every day or so we would go check on "our" web.  One day I asked Gary what came to mind when he looked at the spider web.  Without hesitation, he said, "Strength. It amazes me how strong something that looks so fragile really is."  My thoughts went in a completely different direction.  I looked at the thin strand that anchored the web to the tree and thought of my students.  Because of factors beyond our school walls, some of our students seem to "hang by a thread."  Sometimes the connection seems pretty precarious, but they hang on with all their might.


Soon after,  teachers, support staff, and administrators at school met to discuss students.  We talked about students' strengths, their areas of growth, and their challenges.  These discussions can be difficult and precious at the same time.  It is humbling to discuss children and discover the heavy burdens that some carry on their small shoulders.   It is also an honor to witness the concern and caring of our staff as we reevaluate and create individualized plans to help build student success.

As I reflected on our students, my thoughts drifted to "our" spider web.  Gary and I were both correct in our impressions.  Sometimes we all experience times when life intervenes; when we literally feel like we are hanging by a thread.  But, even that small strand is enough because we also have an inner strength to carry us forward.  Like a web, our strength may be invisible to others, but it is there just the same. 

Planet Science (don't you love the internet?)  found that "...some spider webs can withstand hurricane-force winds. Although silk is very strong, that's not the only important factor in a web's strength. Spider webs have a very complex design. The way the web is built means that if a single strand of web breaks, the strength of the web actually increases."

That explains a lot about spiders, teachers.....and children.