How was your weekend? Mine was full of cleaning bathrooms (the worst job EVER), binge watching Holiday Baking Championship, working out, causing a minor grease fire (don't ask), and spending much-need time with my husband. I also took time to reflect on the past week or so. Sometimes I think I reflect enough to justify many counseling sessions.
A few days ago my daughter sent me a photo grid with a picture taken one year ago on the left and another taken on Halloween. What a difference a year makes. I know that I have made progress. I have more energy. I am stronger. I am more committed to my health. But....when I look in the mirror, all I see is how far I still need to go. I have to admit, that even tonight as I consider posting these images, I feel anxious. My eyes keep drifting to the image on the left and I am fighting shame and embarrassment. I have to force myself to acknowledge the woman on the right who is making progress.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we continue to focus on the negative and ignore our successes? We all do it.
Just this week I reminded a student with dyslexia how much he had grown in just two short years. He arrived in third grade unable to identify the sounds of individual letters and now he reads. He is struggling to recognize his growth because he is so focused on his inability to read fluently.
It seems for every 1,000 moments of love, protection, and understanding we give our children, as parents, we focus on harsh words spoken during one hour of fatigue. Perhaps it is easier to focus on the positive living in this generation of digital images of joys and smiles. But, then again, when I hear the anxiety in my children's voices as they wonder if they are doing enough for their own babies, I think maybe things aren't so different from my generation after all.
I can tell you that as a teacher I am on a never-ending quest to help my students become successful. I am rarely satisfied with my performance - not because I haven't done a good job, but simply because I am trying to do better. It is hard to enjoy my achievements. Unfortunately this is true for most of the teachers I know. Whether we work at Sigler Elementary, Plano East, or Eastfield College, our mistakes loom so much larger than our successes.
So, I needed to see that picture that Kati sent me. It helped me, even for a few short moments, to focus on the positive. I hope each one of you is able to look in the mirror today and celebrate your achievements.
